You Should Have Stayed

I recently came across some poetry I wrote as a teenager. Most of it was predictably cringeworthy, but a few of the pieces were— to my surprise— halfway decent. This one I wrote in 2012, after the suicide of a student at my school.

You Should Have Stayed

You should still be here
With all of your friends
And your brothers and sisters
And the friends of their friends.
When Liam and Joseph
Say they don’t want to play
And an older boy hits you
And you run away.

You should still be here
When it’s time to go home
And it’s getting dark
And you’re playing alone.
When your mama says
“It’s time to go,”
And you want one more minute
And she says no.

You should still be here
When you’re getting too old
And your legs are too long
And the weather’s too cold
When you can swing on the bars
And still touch the ground
And you no longer fit
On the merry-go-round

You should still be here
Getting blisters from bars
Setting fire to swings
And breaking your arms
When you fall off the ladder
And bleed on the bark
And bring markers and spray paint
And tag in the park

You should still be here
When you turn sixteen
Getting drunk on the playground
And smoking weed
When you and your girlfriend
Make out in the park
And you lie in the playhouse
And kiss in the dark

You should still be here
When you want to walk past
When you’re cooler than that
And you’re growing up fast
When you sneak through the gate
On the way home from work
So there’s no one to see you
When you play in the dirt

You should still be here
When you’re married with kids
And they run to the playground
And play like you did
When you and your wife
Are pushing the swings
And watching from benches
And wearing your rings

You should still be here
To carve your name in the bark
And read what we wrote
And play in the park
You should still be here
With us today
You should still be here
You should have stayed

In memory of Colin Taipara-Herewini, who would have been 26 today.